i fux with bacon

La Chine Massena - Dim Sum in Paris

On a mission to find good dim sum in Paris we were not short of recommendations for Yoom, Paris' first dim sum specialists and quickly becoming known as the best dim sum in the city.

Yoom is not open on a Sunday (or Monday, worth checking before you leave the house) but Google saved the day and after queuing for 2 hours for the Helmut Newton exhibition we embarked on our journey to Port De Choisy to find what one reviews claimed to be the 'real best dim sum in Paris'. The whole situation mirrors Harold and Kumars trip to Whitecastle a little too much.

Our French pal called us to give his two pence worth on Chinese food in Paris.

"Port De Choisy for dim sum?"

he laughed a lot

gave us props for being authentic

laughed some more

then hung up.

(He also told us Yoom was hipster-dim-sum (one of those awkward converstaions with a hipster who don't consider themselves a hipster #awk )) 

 

 

Whilst waiting for the restaurant to open I highly recommend getting a drink at Tabec des Sports. A kind of bar / betting shop / tobacconist hybrid.  

 

Do try and resist the temptation to get a doublecheese burger at the McDonalds down the road, even if it looks exciting and Chinese, it will only ruin your appetite and piss people off. 

 

 

Any restaurant situated within a trio of tower blocks with one lonley and fear inducing fairground ride in the centre is bound to be a full of character right ?

Not one to be put off by a raw location Liz does the dim sum dance

 

dim sum dance close up

 

La Chine Massena, Paris' largest Chinese restaurant complete with karaoke, light up dance floor and fish tanks full of crab and lobster ready to meet there purpose.  

  

deep fried lobster croquettes, juicy, crispy and fresh.

 

Non specific dumplings. Maybe prawn. Maybe not.

King of dim sum - the char sui pork bun. I am a self titled connoisseur of the char sui pork bun, i've had pork buns everywhere from Oriental City in Colindale to the Michelin star pork buns at The mandarin oriental. This one was pretty good.

Prawn dumplings. Pretty sure these ones are prawn.

All in all, good dim sum paired with some shockingly bad, but surprisingly charming service. I wouldn't recommend leaving without paying for the crab and white asparagus soup, even if you did think there wasn't any crab in it, it's likely a small waiter will chase after you and make you return to the restaurant and pay for said crab soup. That would be embarrassing. 

13, place de Venetie, 75013 Paris, France

 

Lollipop Paris UK store launch

Smoked salmon finger sandwiches, macarons and mini eclairs by Laduree kept the crowd fed at the UK store launch for Lollipops on Commercial St a couple of weeks back. 

The guys from Icely Done were lovely enough to pack me off with a bag of absinthe ice pops they have made for the launch so I didn't arrive at a dinner party empty handed. Lovely guys. Strong ice pops. Brilliant for getting babies to sleep.

Aimee's Rock and Roll Salad

This is Aimee (of grape pickers potatoes fame) she lovingly offered to make us a little dinner before a night of excessive drinking with rock and rolls stars such as Lasse Petersen and Wretch 32. So to thank her I followed her around the kitchen with my phone taking photos and getting in the way.

 

tomatoes and rocket (normally I hate rocket but I let this one slide)

 

add pomegranate, beetroot and goats cheese 

 

add pine nuts, mint and balsamic.

grill some chicken to accompany said rock and roll salad.

put on a Basso & Brooke SS12 dress and head to the NME awards. 

 

I can't see the food, can you move your tits?

Super Nachos

inspired by the super nachos from San Fran 

 large pack of tortilla chips

salsa

roasted peppers

chorizo 

cheese

shredded chicken

gucamole 

sour cream

'put-sum-mor' scotch bonnet chilli relish / oil from stall in London Fields Primary School car park.

 

KIng Of The Picnic Basket #scotchegg

 

sausage, bacon and maple syrup scotch eggs

6 sausages with maple cured bacon

4 eggs

salt & pepper

seasoned flour

1 egg beaten

2 tablespoons maple syrup

125g breadcrumbs

vegetable oil 

Boil eggs for 4 minutes

cool and remove shell

Take the sausage meat out of the casing and season well

Divide sausage mixture into 4 and roll into balls

Place each ball between two sheet of clingfilm and flatten

Dip egg in seasoned flour and place in the middle of the sausage meat

Wrap sausage meat around the egg and form a ball shape

Chill for 30 minutes

beat one egg and add maple syrup

coat eggs and sausage in the maple syrup egg mixture

dip in the breadcrumbs

(repeat for a thick crust)

Fry over a medium heat for 8/9 minutes until golden all over

Finish off in a hot over for 8-10 minutes

Once you kill a cow you gotta make a burger

what up dawg? Hot Dog Stick - Santa Monica Pier

 

The Village Idiot - 7383 Melrose, Los Angeles

Being at a loose end in LA in NYE is not The One. So when Charlie Conrad invited us to spend NYE with him at his pub The Village Idiot, LA's answer to the gastro pub, we jumped at the chance. Then we saw the invite and we jumped a bit more.

I say LA's answer to a gastro pub as this is a concept that until recently didn't really reach LA shores. The Village Idiot pride themselves on being the kind of place you can drop in, grab a pint of Stella and munch down on some great food all in an environment with the atmosphere of a local pub. You won't see any poncy Frenchy food names on the menu, instead you're more likely to find LA's answer to a full English or banging Sunday roast.

The room was complete with  mullets, Desperately Seeking Susan styled ladies and of course, the obligatory balloon drop.

 

Cabbage, baby beets, grapefruit, pistachio and mustard vinaigrette combined in a little salad was the perfect accompaniment to plethora of plates that were about to arrive at the table.

 

grilled octopus, celery, satsuma, pickled Fresno chillies and octopus vinaigrette 

 

The quintessentially British 'Tea sandwich', made with liver pate, house made bacon, quince and red onion was a real meaty joy. They butcher their own pork out the back thus resulting in fresh home cut bacon and piggy belly.

My Ma used to trick me into eating Brussels sprouts at Christmas time by re-branding them as some sort of miniature cabbage. I challenge anyone who doesn't like Brussels sprouts to not wolf this down in a second. The sprouts were slightly caramelised around the edges, this combined with the smoky bacon (house made) lardons was a welcome change.

Probably my favourite dish of the evening. Crispy pork belly with spicy apple and jicama salad. Jicama is a crispy, sweet root vegatable resembling a turnip, real popular in Mexican cuisine. 

The chorizo stuffed devils on horseback came a very close second as my favourite dish, obviously they got munched down too quickly to take a photo.

Massive huge thank you to Charlie and all the fantastic staff for their hospitality and for creating a truly perfect NYE. 

The Village Idiot

7383 Melrose Ave, Los Angeles, CA 90046